Letters to my children

In the period 2016-2018 was a I was reading many books about wisdom in life. What I found out was there is not one definite answer about how to live a good life, but rather many. People should get different advice in different phases of life. I started to write down what should you do in different life ages.

“Best advice die life is be useful. And whatever you do, be world class. People will notice it and you will see magic happen. Make the best effort, especially at the beginning.”

“When in doubt,do the more secure thing.”

“Work should bring you joy, being lazy should bring suffering. Things in life by themselves tend to go in a negative way and it is up to you steer the course.”

“Always do the hardest thing you possibly can. Sometimes even try to reach for what you think you cannot achieve. You will be surprised how much you can do.”

“People overestimate what they can do in a day but underestimate what they can do in two years.”

“Time and patience are the strongest warriors.” —Leo Tolstoy

“What we’re seeking is an experience of being alive,”—Joseph Campbell

“To improve is to change, so to be perfect is to have changed often.” —Winston Churchill

“Tell me to what you pay attention and I will tell you who you are.” —Jose Ortega y Gasset

“Eighty percent of success is justshowing up.” — Woody Allen.

“You are only entitled to the action, never to its fruits.” —Bhagavad Gita

“The best revenge is not to be like that.” —Marcus Aurelius

“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” —Epictetus

“We must all either wear out or rust out, every one of us. My choice is to wear out.” —Theodore Roosevelt

“Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life.”― Jerzy Gregorek

“Slow is Smooth, Smooth is Fast”― Navy seals

Year 1

Year 2

• You should Learn that ‘No’ means ‘No’.
• Learn to fall good

Year 3

• You should learn not to Kick, Hit, Bite or Steal.

Year 4

• You will make your first friends. Be nice to them, learn from them, educate them.
• Learn to face your fears.
• You should be brushing your teeth alone. It is an very important habit, please stick to it.
• Tie your shoes alone.

Year 5

• Learn to swim.
• Learn to ride a bike.

Year 6

• Whatever you start to do, try to finish it. Do it badly, but do it.

Year 7

Year 8

• make your bed everyday. This is one of the best habits you can learn as a child. It will teach you discipline and diligence. Your future self will be thankful.

Year 9

Year 10

Year 11

Year 12

• Avoid talking about negative stuff. Your thoughts are like boomerang. You will be attracting the wrong persons.
• You will try to run away, which is fine. Please keep in mind you will always be welcome back
• Learn to manage your allowance money.

Year 13

• At this age you will most probably be thinking about death, mortality and infinity. These thoughts may make you feel unpleasant, even scare you. Don’t worry you will soon forget about them for the next 20 years.
• You will start to compete with your parents and it is fine. Be the best you can.
• Take a trip with your father to everywhere in the world
• Try to volunteer for everything. Your schoolmates may not understand it, but your future self will be grateful. The bonuses you will receive are invaluable.

Year 14

• Go for the most difficult decision. It will pay off on the long run.
• Go wide, explore. Try as many subjects as you can, including programming, design, and history. See what you might like.
• Entering the secondary school is not easy. Your grades will probably fall. Take it as a challenge to learn morer

Year 15

• From now on things will not go smoothly anymore. You will be receiving more and more criticism for your work. It is your task to learn how to accept it. You can do it.   Up
• Learn or get better at public speaking

Year 16

• Go on a 7-14 day trip, alone. You will learn to be independent.
• Learn to fail good. Whatever you are doing, you will do it right only on the 3rd, 4th take. This is normal. Just don’t quit trying.
• If you ever feel ashamed of what you did or how you acted in the past, that is good. This means you have grown as a person.
• Most probably you are aware of your own suffering. Try to learn that other people suffer, too, and most probably for the same reason. You are not alone.
• But still, you need to start learning to be ok on your own, alone. It is ok being by yourself.

Year 17

• Learn how to have a conversation with other people. You will notice that you can steer any conversation in any way you want. Experiment. Observe people, try to figure out what they may like to talk about. Amuse them.
• You should learn to keep your promises.Don’t walk away from your commitments. This will make you a great person in the eyes of others.
• Rejection is inevitable, but it is an opportunity to move on. Don’t be stopped.

Year 18

• Stop doing stuff to impress others. You should challenge yourself, be the best version of you you can possibly be. You are competing just with yourself.
• Life will be getting ever more difficult. Learn to be resilient, to keep your focus. You lose only when you give up.
• Go out and meet as many people as you can. It will be useful later.
• Choose the most difficult study you can still manage. Every discipline is hard and don’t let that scare you.
• Invest a small sum on the stock exchange to see how it will work out. Take it as an experiment, a learning lesson.
• You may be entering the workforce at this year. The best career advice you can get is: Be useful. At the beginning you will have no practical skills and knowledge. Try to find all the ways to make the seniors’ lives easier. Help them. Be proactive. Always be looking for extra work.

Year 19

• University is not as easy as you may expect. Learn how to ask others for help. You will be surprised how others are willing to help you.
• You are starting your independent adult life. Learn to manage your budget, keep the track record of your incomes/expenses. Start saving 15-20% of your income. Reinvest it.
• Protect your reputation. Don’t do anything to make others disrespect you (steal, be lazy,…).
• Up to this point you should have learned to be OK being by yourself, to be feeling good in your own skin, not being afraid of being alone. The three biggest fears in a person’s life are the fear of not belonging, being found out and not being loved. It is ok to feel them and it is nobody’s fault that you feel them. What you need to do is to embrace them, as facing them will give you strength in life. Learn to live with yourself, to make your soul calm and happy. It will be fine.

Year 20

• If you don’t trust the other person, don’t get in business with him.
• By this point you should start building up your personality
• This is the year you should start to invest for your retirement. Do a plan and follow it. Even a bad plan is better than no plan. You will improve it whenever the time is right.

Year 21

• Try to be less envious. Learn where you are, what you can achieve, and don’t think too much about the things which are out of your reach.
• Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

Year 22

• Great things are born from a great pain. If you are struggling and suffering right now, carry on. You are building something great on a long run.
• If you want to build competency and skills, go for young and small companies. If you want to build up prestige, go for big companies. But there you may not progress that fast.

Year 23

• If other disagree with you, it does not mean you are wrong. But you may not be right, either. Don’t let their opinion weigh in on your thoughts.

Year 24

• Learn to be comfortable with yourself when you are alone. Try to meditate, it may help you.

Year 25

• Learn to forgive. Let the past in the past. Old grudges trap you in the past, don’t let you move on. Start fresh.
• Stay on the radar.
• Keep your crazy out of the door. Be the most normal employee in the office.
• You really need to learn to say you are sorry for your mistakes. It is good for your relationships (and to keep your ego in check).

Year 26

• Be the one who gives credit to other people. Praise your friends, colleagues, when they deserve the praise.

Year 27

• Your body will from now on belong to you. Whatever you do with it, it will show. If you like to smile, you will develop smiling wrinkles. If you are grumpy, you will have a grumpy face. Keep it in mind and act in a way you want to be seen.
• Learn to love and work on to be good in relationships. If you want to end a relationship, leave the partner in a better state as you got him/her.

Year 28

• Stop pursuing independence. Go for interdependence. Cherished the fact people are dependent on you. It is easy, you can do it.
• Learn to let go of stuff that doesn’t bring you joy anymore. They did their part and it is fair to part ways. Also let go old grudges. It will help you stop being miserable and give you a new start. (Marie Kondo)

Year 29

• Travel to distant lands so that you can see how you compare your life to other peoples lives. Where do you belong, where your place is.

Years 30-34

• Your body is getting older. Start taking care of it.
• Try fitness, as you can focus only on your weak points.
• Stop spending time with people who don’t make you feel well. Focus on people you like.
• Learn to own your mistakes. Be candid, talk about them, admit guilt and offer solutions to repay your mistakes. People will respond positively in way you could have never believed before.
• He is wise, who can listen, really listen with all his heart. The one who makes you nervous, because you know he is paying attention. Be wise, listen to people.

Years 35-39

• Take care of your dwelling. Think about getting what you deserve, and show it.
• Partnership is about healing the past together.

Years 40-44

• Congratulations, you reached the half of your life! It is ok to think about what you have achieved and where do you go from here. Don’t avoid reflecting on your mortality, because it will give you a better perspective on what you care about and how to act upon it.
• Now you are closer to old and to the young. Your body will start to show the first signs of the old age.
• Men at forty learn to close softly the doors to rooms they will not be coming back to. (Donald Justice)
• Think of entering into politics. Serve one term in your local council, be useful to your community.

Years 45-49

• Start thinking about bonds. It is time to rebalance your portfolio to invite also bonds. You will most probably retire in ten years.

Years 50-59

• You are slowly turning up be the yellow leaf. Don’t worry, it is not a bad thing. There are many positive experiences ahead of you. In this period, you will be the happiest in your life
• Start being very careful on what you eat and how you exercise. Your body owes you nothing and will start to punish your bad decisions harshly.
• A big part of your life has passed. You should start to give back to society and to spread good. Educate other people, help the young, sorry the weak.

Years 60-69

Years 70-79

Years 80-89

Years 90-100